“We all have guardrails up, but where are they in relation to our identity and who we are? Do you listen to that still small voice? I mean, it’s your voice.”
I am probably the least observant person I know. If it’s not in my line of sight, I’m not seeing it. I have come to own this fact. I denied it for years, but it is very true. Maybe, it’s because I have accepted, I’m an introvert and am fully inward-focused no matter where I am. More likely, it’s because my wife and kids are scary observant. I swear my wife and kids are their own version of Charlie’s Angels. They immediately walk into a room, read it like a book and start calling out behaviors not yet seen but eventually manifest. They see what’s not obvious and hear what’s not heard. Having experienced that for nearly 23 years, I know I am not that at all. Not even close. I walk into a room and I’m trying to find the chair in the corner away from any humans. That is my safe space.
Yet, a few years ago my wife pushed back on the notion that I was a true introvert. She said, and I quote, “No, you’re not an introvert, you just choose to ignore people because you’ve hardened your heart towards being inconvenienced.” YOWZERS!!!! That struck a chord with me in a very negative way. Ya boy wanted to put on boxing gloves and go at it. “My heart isn’t hardened towards anyone,” I vehemently refuted. “I just want to be left alone.” Her obvious response was, “Why?” After hours and weeks of this conversation, which took many different turns, here’s where I landed: I’m guarded, I’m hardened, and, yes, I will ignore you because I ultimately ignore me. What do I mean? A hardened heart isn’t one that’s incapable of love or emotion, but one that is resistant. I realized while I truly enjoy my own company, the mad dash to steal away when in the presence of others was due to inauthenticity while in the presence of others. Yes, I hardened my heart towards others because I was not comfortable with my true self.
We all have guardrails up, but where are they in relation to our identity and who we are? Do you listen to that still small voice? I mean, it’s your voice. It doesn’t have to be understood and accepted by anyone but you. We must learn to accept ourselves and love ourselves fully so that we can show others why we deserve to be loved and accepted. If we continuously hide behind façades, attempt to “Keep up with the Joneses,” or live in a bubble where no one can get to us, then we are losing ourselves and hardening our hearts to truly being loved fully and authentically. We are hardening our hearts to the opportunity of changing the lives of those around us simply by being present and being real. As we think about our personality types (because let’s be clear, I am an introvert), don’t be pigeonholed by them. Be careful not to let your preferences harden you to new possibilities and personal growth.
With Sincerity,
RSC
With Sincerity 